Raising Good Humans: Why I'm Instilling a Family Identity Into My Kids

In this week’s episode of TUF, Robbie gets real about one of the most important—and challenging—parts of parenting: raising kids to be genuinely good people. As his own children grow, he’s reflecting on how to instill values like kindness, character, and doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.

Rather than fixating on academic achievement or athletic success, Robbie dives into how he’s shaping a family identity rooted in integrity and compassion—something he calls being a “Kratty Boy.” Inspired by a blend of proud dad moments, family nicknames, and honest observations of modern parenting, this episode unpacks what it really means to build a legacy through your children.

Whether you’re a parent navigating how to raise respectful and resilient kids, or just someone thinking about what kind of mark you want to leave on the world, this episode is for you.

Topics Covered:

• The pressure of achievement-focused parenting
• Creating a family identity and instilling core values
• Why character matters more than trophies
• Teaching kids the difference between standing up and lashing out
• Real talk on generational legacy, discipline, and doing the right thing

👉 Listen now for a thoughtful, unfiltered look at fatherhood, values, and how to raise kids who don’t just know right from wrong—but live it.

Keywords: parenting podcast, modern fatherhood, raising good kids, family values, positive parenting, legacy parenting, millennial dad, character development in children, teaching values, parenting identity, raising boys, dad podcast

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction and Parenting Challenges
• 3:30 The Importance of Values in Parenting
• 6:18 Creating Family Identity: The Kratty Boys
• 9:18 Teaching Kindness and Compassion
• 12:19 Navigating Conflict and Self-Defense
• 17:24 Conclusion and Reflection on Parenting Journey

Transcript

Robbie (00:00)
Hey, welcome into the show everyone. I'm your host Robbie. Hope everyone's having a fantastic day, having a good start to the year. We're about a third of the way through it already. Time's just flying by, especially when you're an old fart like me. Let's go ahead and jump into this week's episode.

Today what I wanted to jump into is something that I think I've talked about a couple of times on this show and it's something that's really popping up more now that my kids are getting older. I've got an almost six year old and I've got a two year old and as they continue to get older and older, I'm constantly reading and listening to a podcast and trying to just come up with my own ideas on how to raise them right, how to raise them to be good human beings, how to raise them to be productive members of society and there's...

a ton of different theory out there and a lot of different ways to raise your kids. But I just wanted to go into some things that I've really been kind of honing in on. And like I said, I'm probably going to have to continue to alter the way that I that I raise them. I'm going to have to change things here and though, as they get older, different, different techniques are going to come into play. And I have no clue whether or not what I'm doing is is right, whether or not these are going to produce the results that I'm looking for. But all I can really do is is try to make an informed decision.

on how, and it's not just me, it's me and my wife making informed decisions on how we're gonna raise our kids and what we're gonna try and instill in them in terms of values, morals, ethics, things like that, and how we want them to be, how we wanna try to raise them and guide them to be good, productive human beings, people that leave this world better than when they got here, people who treat other people with respect, with kindness, and... ⁓

all the things that you really want out of your kids.

And I know that a lot of parents are really big on like, it's in all spectrum. I just kind of been observing different parents, different parenting styles, and even just thinking back on parents from when I was a kid. you've got parents that have these big expectations on kids. ultimately I think most parents are trying to raise their kids as best as they possibly can. And I'm not here to pass judgment on them. I mean, maybe a little bit of judgment just cause I'm a super judgy person, but

at the same time, not pass this huge judgment on them, but almost more so to have an open conversation in what I see and what I don't necessarily want to push on my kids. And take it with a grain of salt. This is not the ultimate guide on how to raise your kids, but just some ideas and some thoughts that I had. And one of the things that I see a lot of parents push their kids towards is like achievement. What's the main thing that you want to get your kids to do?

you see a lot of people that are like, well, I want them to achieve. want them to do well in school, to be smart, to be academically smart, to be street smart, to have this intellect, to be smarter than other kids. And you have parents who really push that really, really hard. It's almost like the ultimate value that they have within the household. And then you have other parents that really push sports and athleticism and...

almost have that as the ultimate goal. It's like constantly you're just you're going to sports if you're not if you're not studying for school or if you're not, you know, doing family stuff like you're you're training for sports and I'm just mentioning these two because these are the two that I see as most prevalent and it's not that you shouldn't be focusing on those things with your kids and helping guide them down those different paths. Those are both great tools and good things for your kids to have. But at the end of the day, I think

when I look at it, the main goal I have is I wanna guide my kids to be good human beings, to do the right thing, to help other people, to help the planet, to leave this world, like I said, leave this world a better place than when you got here. And for me, my lasting legacy, our lasting legacy as parents, we don't get to take all the shit that we accumulated, we don't get to take the money, we don't get to take the house, we don't get to take anything when we're gone.

the really the only thing that we're able to leave behind is our legacy of parenting, our kids and the impact they're going to make with their kids and their grandkids and all of that stuff. I really focus on how can I make sure my kids are good kids? And all kids are good inside. Like I'm not saying like a good kid versus a bad kid.

I'm not here to put the shame on kids. You some kids are rambunctious and angry and don't know how to regulate their emotions and that's gonna happen and that doesn't make them a bad kid. I think what I'm talking about is more so on like a philosophical level when they get older, making them good people. Because there are, in my opinion, there are people who tend more to be good people, to do the right thing, to be honest.

to help other people out, be kind, to be compassionate. And then there's another lane of people that are more cutthroat, ruthless, ambitious, lie, steal, cheat. We wouldn't have these terms good and bad if there weren't good and bad people in the world. And so ultimately I wanna make sure that my kids end up on the right side of that line, that they're good people.

I'll also apologize right now if I sound like I'm an octave lower that I'm congested because allergies this year have been an absolute, they've been absolute hell. It's been terrible. I haven't been sick, no fever, no cough, no nothing like that, but just itchy eyes, constant congestion and a stuffed up nose. It's been terrible. So if you're out there and you've got allergies like me, it's been a terrible season for them. Been real bad out here in California.

Anyways, back to raising kids. This came up because I...

I think ultimately what I'm trying to talk about in this episode is just creating an identity for your children, an identity for your family, and having that be the main thing, right? When we were in high school, it was like, you're a jock, or you're a theater nerd, or you're a band geek, or you're a stoner, or a popular kid, right? There's all these groups that kids like kind of...

automatically go into and that becomes their identity and the people that they are moving forward. And a lot of times parents with young kids can also create these types of identities for their kids, whether they're pushing sports or music or academics or anything like that. And in my opinion, in our household, I'm trying to create an identity that's not solely revolving around that, but it's more so revolving around morals, character, and being a good person.

And so I've kind of created this, my nickname in high school was Kratty and a lot of, with the last name Kratty, my nickname was Kratty. And I called that all through high school, football, wrestling, all that stuff. And some of my other family members have been called Kratty before, and it's just something that's really stuck. And so I, with my boys, we have a nickname for all of them. say, hey, you guys are the Kratty boys.

that kind of comes from a Midland song called Gator Boys. And so I just kind of did a twist on words, called it the Kratty Boys. And I now am trying to push this as like an identity on my kids. And pushing sounds, I don't know, pushing sounds like makes it sound bad, but I'm trying to guide them in this direction. And this is the identity that I'm presenting to them is like, hey, you guys are Kratty Boys. I'm a Kratty Boy, you're a Kratty Boy. And what do Kratty Boys do?

And it's this identity of, Kratty Boys do the right thing. Kratty Boys help other people. Kratty Boys are, they're young kids and this may sound cocky and it may sound arrogant, but I just said, Kratty Boys are like superheroes. We do the right thing. We help other people and we do what's right. And so I've been saying this to them for quite some time now. And it's, ⁓ it was just kind of nice to see it. It's almost like it's actually

sticking and taking hold my son, the older one, he will use that term a lot now and say like, hey, me and Theo are, we're Kratty boys and we were passing by some trash on the street. And he's like, yeah, that's not good that someone just threw that out. We should pick that up because we're Kratty boys. Or like he was talking about a show where someone was mean to another kid and he's like, I would be nice to them because I'm a Kratty boy.

And so it was just, was like a proud dad moment where he's internalizing this, this idea that I have of being a certain type of person and associating it with our family, with our, with the, you know, obviously Kratty Boys is it's gendered, but I only have two boys right now. I'm sure if I have a daughter, I'm going to have to switch it around and figure something else out. But as of right now, that's just the identity I've got for the two boys. And, uh,

Yeah, it's it's seeping in and it's really it's I'm glad to hear him correlate. He's making these connections in his brain of doing good things, of doing the right thing and being a quote unquote, Kratty boy. And I'm hoping that we can continue this and like make it almost like a. I don't know, family motto, family identity, whatever the hell it is, I don't really care. I don't care about the labels, it's just.

This is what they associate with. And so when they get older and they're faced with different challenges or peer pressure or things like that, they can come back to, well, who am I? What am I? Am I a athlete? Am I a jock? I an intellectual person, a studier? No, I'm a Kratty boy. And what should I do in this situation? I should do what's right. And I know that that's subjective in...

Certain situations, but let's not bullshit most of the time, you know what the fucking right thing is, right? Most of the time if I gave you a situation I said, hey, what's the right thing to do here? You'd know one way or the other Probably because you were raised, right?

I teach my boys to hold the gate open or the door open for anyone. Doesn't matter if it's ⁓ a mom with their kids. Doesn't matter if it's just a random dad walking in or some teenager. It's like if we're walking into a store, you hold the door open for the people coming in behind you. Let them go in first. Wait your turn. Be patient. Be kind.

You may be in a rush, but other people are also in a rush. And you never know, as I kind of mentioned last week, you never know what small gesture you do can make a huge impact on someone else in the world. And that's something that I'm really trying to push with them, is just making these impacts, being kind, being compassionate, and helping other people out.

So yeah, I I kind of wanted to talk a little bit about this idea of the Kratty Boys, of being the Kratty Boys, of being good people, of doing good things and creating this identity of like, who are we, what do we do, and having it come down to something just as simple as we do the right thing. And then that being your identity that you can pull from. So agree, disagree, let me know. Let me know your thoughts on that one. Obviously.

this is all still brand new to me and these are just thoughts that I'm having and things I'm trying to implement with my kids because ultimately I want them to grow up to be good people.

On top of that, that identity, one of the things that I've been thinking about is that, I've always been someone who wants to stick up for the little person or stick up for people who I'm an Enneagram eight, which I haven't gone into any of them yet. So if you know what an Enneagram eight number is, that's me, abrasive and straightforward says what they think and is unapologetic about it. But at the same time as a very strong sense of justice,

and sticking up for, you know, like principles. I'm very principled in certain things. And yeah, I always like to stand up for what I think is right, what is wrong. And that's probably why I'm thinking about this whole concept of instilling these values within my kids. But part of that is in this world, we've gotten so far back from like physicality and

Standing up for what's right and all of that good stuff and I'm not sitting here advocating for violence or or anything like that and actually to the contrary right now I'm big on telling my kids to make sure that they don't hit back that they don't if someone does something to them to try to use their words and To you know, if they don't if they're continue to do that, right? Hey go and find an adult

to help you out if it's not something that you can manage on your own, if that's not some sort of conflict that you can manage on your own, but definitely try to like work it out with them, but don't result in violence. And if they start to hit you, you go and let someone know. But I do know that ultimately when they're older, because they're still really young, when they're older, I'm gonna have to teach them that there's a difference between attacking someone and defending yourself. And I think that that's where we...

we struggle as a society is that it's like, I don't advocate violence. I don't advocate this. And I get that. I'm teaching my boys not to fall back onto that because it's easy to just lose your cool and result to some sort of physical altercation in order to like resolve a conflict, especially if you're the bigger, stronger person.

That's usually who bullies are, the bigger, stronger people, and they result to that because they can't use their words because they're dumbasses. I want my kids to be able to result to their words and to handle things diplomatically. But there will be a time in their life where they're gonna have to stand up for themselves or for others, and it may come down to being physical or imposing what you think is right or what's right in the situation and not letting people push you around.

You're not always gonna have a teacher to go to. You're not always gonna have an adult to go to and you've gotta learn how to stand up for yourself. Not right now, they're five, six years old. That's one of the things I'm struggling with is like, when do I teach them, when and how do I teach them the difference between attacking and defending yourself or defending others and making sure that you're being, like I said, a good person.

And that's something else that I'm trying to bake into this because I'm a physical person. I wrestled, played football, and sometimes I let that take over too much on my side. Like I said before, I can sometimes be intimidating and put up this resting bitch face to make sure that people don't come and talk to me or to kind of put walls up so I don't have to be ⁓ sociable. But at the end of the day, sometimes that could also make me less approachable and people that may need.

support for me or may need me in some way may not come up to me because I don't look like the type of person that would help them or the type of person that would stick up for them. And so this is just another concept that I'm trying to figure out and get all the irons figured out is like when and how to introduce this concept of defending yourself, sticking up for others and making sure that you don't let other people steamroll you because it's going to happen. As much as I'd like to say that there's a

You know, this world is great. I'm already seeing it right now. My son's in kindergarten and I'm already seeing different kids that act certain ways and do certain things and say really mean things. And my eldest is very sweet, very rule following. He's a lot like his mom in certain ways. And how I was when I was really little before I had to kind of grow a tougher exterior.

But I see these things and like I said, I want him to be able to handle things with his words as much as possible, but there's gonna be a time where I'm gonna teach him how to defend himself, how to stick up for them. And in the concept of like the Kratty Boys framework and like this identity is that like, I don't know, I almost think of it like the original Roadhouse with Dalton. It's like, be nice.

You're gonna tell them to do this, be nice, whatever. Keep on saying stuff like be nice until it's time to not be nice anymore. And how do I know when it's time to not be nice? When they're younger, right, I'll tell you. I'll tell you when it's time to not be nice. But eventually, they're gonna have to be able to differentiate between when the time to be nice is and when the time is to not be nice anymore. For all of you Swayze fans out there, I'm going original Roadhouse.

Fuck the Jake Gyllenhaal, Conor McGregor one. The OG Roadhouse was legit.

Anyways, these are just things that have been swirling around my head, things that I've been thinking about and trying to incorporate with my kids. And it's hard to figure out, especially in my brain, because if you've been listening to this for any time at all, kind of go all over the place, bounce around stuff. And I've got a lot of ideas that spin around in my head. And this is just one that I think may be a decent one.

maybe one for other people to kind of incorporate, creating this identity, this brand with your family, something that your kids can fall back to when they get into a tough time. It's like, who am I? Who am I? They're gonna have to come up with that on their own. Every person figures out who they are, but at the end of the day, we're also social creatures and to have some sort of community, some sort of identity outside of yourself, especially for kids who are.

learning so much. think that it's just really helpful and beneficial. like I said, I'm seeing some already some positive signs with it with my son. So let me know your thoughts. Shoot me message. ⁓ Hit the comment button or the send me a message about this ⁓ this episode in the episode description. And let me know. But yeah, that's that's really all I wanted to go over today. I'm sure that I'll hash out more of this in future episodes just because this was really raw and just brand new. But

I hope that you all enjoyed this episode and I will let you get back to the rest of your week. I will see you all next Tuesday, which Tuesdays is now the new release date for the podcast. Have a good rest of the day. See y'all.