Life is Hard, But So Are You: Fighting Fake Positivity & Embracing the Grind

In this brutally honest solo episode of The Unhinged Father, Robbie returns from a brief hiatus to get real about the chaos of modern life, parenting, and the overwhelming pressure to keep up with social media perfection. From dad life to gym struggles, from toxic positivity to unrealistic influencer expectations—this episode is a raw, unfiltered reminder that life is hard, and that’s okay.

Robbie unpacks the frustrating world of parenting influencers, fitness gurus, and the growing trend of “toxic responsibility.” He calls out the lies we’re fed online—those 10-second highlight reels that leave the rest of us feeling like failures—and makes the case for something more valuable: relentless effort, grace, and the unglamorous hustle of real growth.

Whether you’re a tired parent, a millennial dad trying to get your life together, or someone drowning in the noise of social media expectations, this episode is your reminder that you’re not alone—and that trying (and failing) still counts.

Topics covered:

• Why influencer culture is lying to you
• The myth of balance and perfection
• Real talk on parenting, weight loss, and adulting
• Grace vs. giving up: how to keep going when you’re falling short
• The difference between fake motivation and authentic growth

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Hashtags/SEO Keywords: #MillennialDad #ParentingPodcast #DadLife #AuthenticParenting #SelfHelpPodcast #SocialMediaBurnout #RealTalkParenting #UnfilteredParenting #FitnessAfter30 #MentalHealthForParents #PodcastForDads #TheUnhingedFather

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction and Personal Reflections
• 3:25 The Challenges of Podcasting and Social Media
• 6:19 Navigating Parenting and Self-Expectations
• 9:49 The Reality of Life's Challenges
• 12:54 The Impact of Small Gestures
• 17:50 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Transcript

Robbie (00:00)
Hey, what's going on everyone? Hope everyone's having a fantastic day, having a good week. I'm recording this before Easter. It's probably not gonna come out until after Easter though. So I hope that you all had a fantastic Easter weekend. And yeah, if you haven't noticed, I've been MIA for about two weeks now. It has been very busy, work, life, spring break, all the shit that comes along with being a parent, being an adult. And I've just been.

too busy to get down and actually do this podcast. And so unfortunately you, the adoring fans, all 1.5 of you, you're the ones who have to suffer for this. And I apologize to you, to you the adoring fan for missing out on the podcast, but I've got an episode for you today. It's really just gonna be coming off the cuff, something that's just popped up into my head and I really had some strong thoughts and some feelings about it. So we'll see where this episode goes.

I'm not sure if it's gonna flow super well, but we'll see where it goes. what I wanted to talk about today was actually just, it's kind of a combination of a few things, but the main thing is just, I've been doing this podcast for a little while now, and I really enjoy the podcasting aspect of it. I like coming in here and talking on the podcast when I'm able to get guests, having conversation with guests. And I feel like this part of,

the, I was about to say job. This is definitely not my job. I don't get paid for this. have to find like off times to, to record it. But I feel like this portion of it, there's some beneficial aspect to it, to anyone who's out there listening. Cause I know that I go to podcasts for information to let off steam, to hear comedy, to listen about what I could be doing different with parenting or finances and stuff like that. And that's really what I want this podcast to be. It's just kind of like a real,

not an expert, just some random millennial dad who's got strong opinions about a lot of things and has lived his life to the best of his ability. And I've got a lot of experience. I've fucked up a lot of times and I've messed up a lot of things and I've learned from those mistakes and hopefully people can learn from that as well. And I've been told I have a unique way of thinking about things. that's what I want to do this podcast for is to get those opinions out there and hopefully someone out there.

likes a portion of it, picks up a little piece of it and incorporates it into their lives and makes it a little bit better. The part of this that I really dislike and one thing that I've actually been finding myself, part of the reason I don't feel like I have as much time is I get sucked into the social media aspect of this and in order to do the podcast, especially in this day and age where there's just so much saturation, like I'm not doing this just for myself. It's partially for myself. I partially do this so that way I have a way to

to have an outlet to speak, to get these thoughts out, to get them out into some sort of medium. But at the same time, yeah, it's great to be able to see that people are listening to it, that someone's a repeat listener. I see you probably cousins in Germany, and I see there's people who listen in Chicago, people who listen in Southern California, people all across the country that tune in every week and listen to the show. And I really appreciate that. I love to see it grow. And I'm hoping that...

that people are getting stuff out of this. But yeah, like there's a part of me that likes to see the show grow, more people listen to it to see that reach get out there. And with so much saturation in the market, you have to do social media. It's like this with everything, with whatever job you're in, it's almost like you have to be within social media in order to get the views, to get people to actually come in and see the content that you're creating. And I'm not a social media creator. I'm a...

I'm a very amateur podcaster who has social media in order to get people to come to the podcast, have them come and listen to the podcast. But as I've been doing this, I've gotten more ingrained within like TikTok and Instagram and Facebook and all of that stuff. And one of the things that I'm really coming to realize is just how fake and disingenuous and disconnected it really is from the real world. It's, it's not the real world. It's

It's absolutely crazy. And, I think my podcast falls within the realm of self help or parenting or exercise, like whatever. I talk about whatever the fuck I want to on here. And I fall into this, this category. And when I'm on social media, I see all of these different people that are there, different creators, different people selling stuff. And it's really just, I don't know. I don't know if disheartening is the word that I'd like to use, but I really

I need to find a way to create stuff for the social media, for the podcast, to get people to come and listen, because I think that there are good things that I talk about that'll be helpful to people, but not get sucked into like, I mean, just for example, right now I'm recording this and obviously a good microphone is good, but like the lighting, I have had to figure out the fucking lighting and I've got this stupid ass fucking blue light behind me as well. And everything's to make it look better on the screen, to make it.

I don't know what the hell you would call it, but that's not me. That's not me. I really don't give a shit what it looks like on the screen. It's more about the words that I'm speaking about what I'm talking about and hopefully what I talk to other people about that I really want people to buy into or to listen to or to actually get, but you got to play the social media game. And one of the things that I've really been seeing, especially with like micro influencers and stuff like that is just,

in the spectrum of quote unquote influencer that that I'm kind of working within right now micro influencer or whatever like I hate just gonna say I hate even saying any of that stuff right because I don't consider myself in that realm of anything but but here I am on this podcast talking to y'all right now so I guess I guess I fall into that right

is that you get people who are just especially in the parent, I see this in parenting and then also in exercise and health and fitness, you either get the people who are just like so down, like they've given up and are just like, fuck it, and are just so like dark and almost feels like just quit, just give up because life's too hard. And then you have the complete opposite, which are the people who are just,

so condescendingly positive, but like positive in a very patronizing way where they're like, don't drink beer, don't do this. Like if you think that it's hard to like get your exercise in and be a dad and go to work, you're just not trying hard enough or whatever. And I'm sitting here like, nah, fuck this. Or like the people who say like, if you got fat, it's because you're the only reason that you got fat. And at the end of the day,

I kind of get that, right? I understand that people have gotten away from like this responsibility, but there's almost like this, this push for toxic responsibility, which I hate that when people label shit toxic because they're just trying to make excuses. But to me, I'm here saying that, yeah, you're never going to get everything done. You're going to, a lot of you are going to get fat.

or get out of shape or not be in the shape that you wanna be, you're not gonna have time to keep your house pristine, to keep it clean, to keep everything organized. You're not always gonna have time to not let your kids watch fucking TV. You're not always gonna be grateful for your kids and your life and your family and all that stuff because you're stressed out, you're tired, your kids are fucking complaining about something like that stuff's gonna happen. But on the flip side, it's not okay to give up either.

The two things can be true at the same time. And I'm here to tell you that life is gonna be tough and you are gonna fucking hate life at times and you're gonna gain weight and you're not gonna be able to hang out with your friends and all that stuff, right? You're just not gonna be able to do everything. Your expectations are gonna be so high and I'll get back to expectations in a second. But even though all of that is true, it doesn't mean that you get to give up and not try.

and not work harder and try to do these things. You need to try to do your best. You need to try and get in shape. You need to work towards being healthy. You need to work towards being a good parent. You need to work towards gratitude, but also have the grace and the understanding that you're never going to achieve it. You're never going to get to perfect. Perfect is an unattainable goal, but that doesn't mean you should stop trying to chase it. And that's the thing where it's a hard, nuanced position.

for people to understand that even though I'm never going to achieve ultimately all the goals that I have, that doesn't mean that I shouldn't have them. That doesn't mean they shouldn't exist. We should all be striving towards those goals and accept the fact that we'll never be able to get there, but that's what pushes us forward. That's what makes us better people. That's what pushes me. mean, right now it felt really good. Went to the gym today. Shout out me. Still not in my ideal weight. I haven't lost as much muscle.

much of the fat as I want to, but I had a dad who hasn't seen me in a year. He was one of the coaches from my son's baseball league and came up. He's like, dude, you're this kid's dad, right? And I'm like, yeah. He's like, dude, you look so different. You've lost so much weight. You're, you look really good. And I'm like, thank you. I appreciate it. I'm married. I'm married, but I appreciate it. And yeah, anyways, it just felt good. And I'm not where I want to be.

I'm probably never gonna look exactly the way I wanna be anymore. I'm not 23, not gonna be super shredded. I don't have time. just ate one of my kids Reese's eggs that I'm gonna be stuffing into a Easter egg here pretty soon. That shit comes up and tough shit. Life is hard, things are hard. You're never gonna be, it's not easy. Anyone who says that it's easy and just you're cruising through, it's fake.

It's fake and that's what I wanted to get back to is just all the people that push this shit on social media. All they do is they either create these unrealistic expectations of you and then you go out and you're like all gung ho for a little bit. You realize that it's unattainable and you're like fuck they said it was easy if I just did these XYZ. I'm just gonna quit. I'm just gonna give up and I'm gonna go eat you know a pizza with Twinkies and Hot Fudge Sundays on it or I'm just gonna let my kids watch TV all day.

and let them take their tablet everywhere. Or I'm gonna not try hard at work and I'm not gonna try to progress or get to a different level within my career. Because I tried, I did what these people said. They said it was easy and obviously if they said it was easy and I can't do it, then it must be me. I just suck, I'm not good. You create these unrealistic expectations and tell people that it's easy and it's not. And so that was just something I wanted to kind of...

get off my chest because here at TUF unhinged father, whatever this is, it's all about understanding that you need to try, you need to work hard, and it's gonna be hard, and you're gonna fail. You're gonna fall, and the biggest thing I tell my kids is what do we do every time they fall or every time they fail, I repeat the same thing over and over and I hope it sticks with them is that,

What do we do when we fall? What do we do when we fall? You get back up, get back up. Every time I tell them you get back up, that's all I care about. We're all gonna fall, we're all gonna fail. Life is hard, life can be really shitty sometimes. Losing weight is hard, being a good parent is hard. All of these things are difficult. That doesn't mean that you don't try. That doesn't mean that you don't try to be the best that you can be. And the people on Instagram,

or TikTok who present this as like, it's just easy. They don't live your life. It's not real. It's a 10 second clip of them doing whatever to make, they spent an hour and a half to make a 10 second clip to seem like it's fucking perfect. And that's one of the things I struggle with on this podcast is like trying to figure out ways to like make clips and do things and make things look better. And that's more for reach, but.

Yeah, I just, I think I wanted to come on here and talk about that and express what my belief is on the fact that.

Yeah, fuck that. Fuck the influencer culture. Like, fuck that shit. It's dumb. And these expectations that people set, I just have noticed, like I said, since I've been more involved in social media than I've ever been before, because I'm actually trying to like, create clips and like other people's shit and help other people out there who are trying to do something similar or, you know, are in the same line of whatever I'm creating. Yeah, it's a time suck.

And it's not reality and it creates these really crappy expectations where people feel like they should be able to do everything that everyone else is doing without realizing that they're not and that those people aren't either. Either those people have like a fucking team of people supporting them so they can like keep their house clean or they can pay their bills or take their dogs for walks or take their kids to the park or go exercise or do their fucking job and make money.

There's so many things that come along with being an adult, especially when you're a parent. Especially when you get older, you got more responsibility, more to do. You're trying to take care of your body. Your body is, I hate to tell you this, 30 year olds, 30 plus year olds, is that once you get to 30, man, it starts going downhill. And that doesn't mean that it has to be. You don't have to get big and fat like I did. You can stay in shape, but it starts to get harder. Your body fights against you.

It's not as easy to lose those pounds as it was when you were 20 years old. It's much easier when you're super busy to just be like, I'm hungry. I'm gonna pick one of these things up and snack, or I'm gonna grab some fast food, or I'm just gonna eat whatever the hell my kids are eating, or maybe not even eat a meal at all. And just like, then you get to the nighttime and it's super late and you start binge eating ice cream. Life is very difficult. Life gets busy. And especially if you're a parent, like I said. And so this is just a...

a rant, I guess you would call it on how I feel like.

I don't know how I feel like I just absolutely despise social media, but at the same time I find myself picking it up and doom scrolling through and like looking through different shit. And a lot of the fitness people are the ones who have been popping up on my account now probably because it's listening. My phone's listening to me and I was like talking about going to the gym and losing weight and a lot of them, I mean, it's all conflicting information. Everyone tells you the different shit.

They all say that everyone else is wrong. Someone's stitching some other one's fucking thing. They're all talking shit and it's all fake. Everything's fucking fake. Social media is a big illusion and I'm playing the game right now because I want people to come and listen to the podcast, especially other episodes where I'm not just ranting and raving about other shit, but.

Yeah, that's, that's where I'm at right now. It's been really busy. I haven't had time to really sit down and do the podcast. That was just something that came to mind recently. And, I wanted to get an episode out this, this week. And so I thought I'd just sit here and rant and rave about, about that. So hopefully I will have something else to talk about next week. Something that's a little bit more productive, something that actually

I don't know, will be beneficial to parents or young adults or anyone else who's just struggling. guess that with this one, really, it's all about just telling you if you're feeling like it's hard and you're tired of people telling you that it's easy, I'm here to tell you, you're right. It is hard. Life is hard. I'm also here to tell you tough shit. You don't get to just give up. You don't get to just quit. You have to keep on moving forward.

Have grace with yourself, be kind to yourself. But at the end of the day, don't give up. Don't give up. Know that you're never gonna hit those goals. You're never gonna be perfect. But that doesn't mean that it's not worthwhile to try and strive for those things. That's what I'm really here to say. yeah, I guess the only other thing I wanted to talk about, this is a small little tag on, I guess you would say, but it was when I was at church, the preacher brought up a message. We have Easter coming up in.

Obviously in the churches, they're always trying to get more people to come in, you know, start herding the herding the flock in for the Easter celebrations or the Christmas celebrations. But I did think something was poignant and it doesn't have to be related to religion. But it was basically the thought that you never know who needs an invitation from you. You never know who needs something like who's at that point in their lives were like.

all they need is a little push in one direction or that you can have a huge impact on someone by just doing a little thing like inviting them. They were talking about it in the context of inviting them to church. What it got me thinking about is like you never know who is in a certain point in their life where any little thing that you can do has a huge impact on them.

I was at the doctor with my son, a little two year old, and we were in the elevator and someone came in and she was an elderly lady and he looked up at her and when we were leaving, he said, goodbye, have a good day and waved to her and she just said, that was the sweetest thing, you made my day. That was the best thing that's happened to me today. The littlest thing, he didn't know he was doing. And so for us, just, it's really easy to like stick our head in our phone.

put our head down, I've got resting bitch face and I try purposefully almost to make myself seem more intimidating than I am. Cause sometimes I don't want to talk to people. I don't want to be interacting with other people. I'm just in a mood where I want to be by myself, but I guess this is like a call to, you don't know if smiling, saying hi to someone, inviting someone to church, inviting someone over for a dinner or a barbecue or

telling someone that they're doing a good job, like just some random person, like, hey, you're doing a good job. You see a dad or a mom out in public or they're having a hard time or whatever, just like, you know, talking to people, being a normal human being, doing something nice for other people. You never know what little thing you do can have a huge impact on someone else. And so it's just kind of living life that way to where you give those invitations. Don't be embarrassed or afraid.

because you don't want to seem like you're, I don't know, pushy or being obnoxious or any of those things. Like I feel like that's what I am sometimes. I feel like I'm a big personality and I don't want to impose on other people. But at the end of the day, it's their job to tell you no, or to tell you like, no, I'm good, or to set their boundaries. And I think that the world would be a better place if we all thought that you never know what invitation or what gesture will

have what impact it'll have on someone else. So that was the only other thing that was on my mind and I wanted to chat about. And yeah, that's going to be it for today. Hope that you guys enjoyed me ranting and raving and talking about my life as a quote unquote influencer. God, fuck.

Sometimes I hate it here, but this is the life of an amateur podcaster dad who likes to talk about a lot of different things and enjoys having this outlet. So that's gonna do it for this week. Hope everyone had a great Easter. Have a great rest of the week and I will see you all next week.