Embracing Vulnerability and Creativity: Why It’s Okay Not to Be Perfect

In this episode of The Unhinged Father, I dive deep into the struggles of vulnerability and perfectionism. After a week of second-guessing myself and battling with creative blocks, I share my experience of trying to put out content that never seemed “good enough.” Join me as we discusses the importance of embracing imperfections, how creative outlets can help navigate life’s challenges, and the value of vulnerability for personal growth. Inspired by my recent read, The Gifts of Imperfection, I reflects on how we can all push past insecurities, especially when trying something new or outside our comfort zone.

Expect candid talk about the challenges of being authentic on social media, the pressure of living up to societal expectations, and my unique take on building a podcast and online presence that connects with everyday parents and normalizes struggles. Whether you’re a parent, creative, or just trying to figure life out, this episode is for you.

Don’t miss my insights on vulnerability, the Enneagram, and why doing something uncomfortable can lead to growth — even when failure feels inevitable.

Keywords: vulnerability, creativity, perfectionism, creative outlet, parenting podcast, authenticity, Enneagram 8, overcoming insecurities, social media challenges, parent struggles, The Unhinged Father.

Chapters

• 0:00 Navigating Vulnerabilities and Creativity
• 8:38 Modeling Courage and Creativity for Kids
• 15:46 Expanding Audience and Engagement

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey, welcome to the show everyone. I'm your host, robbie. This is the Unhinged Father Podcast. Hope everyone's having a fantastic day so far. Let's go ahead and jump into the episode Now.

Speaker 1: 0:10

As many of you may have noticed, last week there was no episode. I wanted there to be an episode, but I just couldn't bring myself to put one out. I can't tell you how many times I sat down at this microphone with the cameras on, got everything ready early in the morning, sat down, tried to get it all perfect, started talking, got about five, six, seven, sometimes 10 minutes into the episode and then hit pause, said fuck it. This is not what I want it to be. It's not sounding the way I want it to be. I can't do this. Can't do this right now. I'm just going to push it off until tomorrow. My kids are probably going to wake up soon. I would make excuses in my head into why I couldn't restart the episode or finish it, or I would make all of these things up in my head on why that episode wasn't a good one, or why that topic wasn't good, why it didn't sound authentic, or it just sounded like horseshit, or it wasn't coming out the way that I envisioned it in my head. I did that probably every single day last week and I got to the end of the week. I'm just like, fuck it, this is not meant to happen. This episode wasn't meant to come out. I wasn't meant to put one out this week because I just can't mentally get past all of these obstacles that are getting in the way, and I started reading a new book last week, the Gift of Imperfection. I'm sure I'll talk about it later in another episode or on Instagram or something like that, but one of the things that it goes into is just this vulnerability, being creative, kind of a lot of things like that. And actually it works out well, because one of the guests that I'm going to be having up on the podcast here pretty soon is someone who specializes in creativity, not just for kids but also for parents as well, and so we're going to dive deeper into those. But it got me thinking about why. Was it that last week when I was trying to put out this podcast, I was trying to put out an episode for everyone. I couldn't do it. It wasn't perfect, it didn't align with what I had in my mind for that episode, for the podcast just in general, and it really just got me thinking about what's going on internally with me and I wanted to share that today. That's what I wanted this episode to be about.

Speaker 1: 2:14

May not be a long one, but just this podcast in and of itself is a creative outlet for me. It's something that I haven't really had in a long time and a lot of people don't really have any type of creative outlet, and it's something that I'm trying to cultivate in myself and something that I'm trying to put out there. But it's definitely difficult doing this podcast and putting shit on social media and making videos on Instagram. That's all very vulnerable for me and I'm not someone who enjoys vulnerability. Actually, if you know anything about the Enneagram, I'm an Enneagram 8. No-transcript who just live in social media and like this is all normal to them. Sitting down and talking to a camera, fucking by themselves is normal. That's not normal to me. It's actually almost like embarrassing to me. It's very hard to do, but I understand that this is something that is a creative outlet.

Speaker 1: 3:35

Like I said, the podcast is something that I enjoy doing. Sitting down and talking is something that I enjoy doing. Eventually, interviewing people is something that I enjoy doing. The social media aspect, the videos, all the other stuff, that's the stuff that goes along with it, and I do want the podcast to eventually be quote unquote successful. I know that that can mean a lot of different things, but I'm not just sitting down here and doing this for nothing. It's a creative outlet, but it's something that I'm hoping can be impactful to other people as well, and that's one of the things that I feel like is my I don't know. I guess you could say one of the gifts that I feel like I potentially possess is being able to make an impact on other people, and this is a platform where I think that I might be able to do that to a larger extent than just my friends, family and those around me.

Speaker 1: 4:21

All that being said, there's something that I enjoy in this creative process. There's actually quite a bit that I enjoy in the creative process, but there's also a lot that scares me, because it means that I actually have to try, I actually have to put effort out and if it's rejected, or if people make fun of that or people laugh at that, like what the fuck is this middle-aged shithead doing? Trying to be a fucking quote-unquote influencer, which that's almost like the biggest part of this that feels gross to me or disgusting to me or hard to me and vulnerable is this quote unquote influencer that's going out there, sitting here, talking to your phone, doing shit just for likes and all that stuff. And I really don't want to fall into that category, even though I understand a lot of what I'm doing right now, putting stuff on social media, putting out podcasts. It is quote unquote influencer, but I don't know. I guess I look at that word and almost think of it as like a dirty word and it scares me because not only am I putting forth an effort and actually trying in something that I may possibly fail in, most likely will fail in, in all honesty, when it comes to the standards of society but I'm also trying in an industry that is really looked down upon by me in particular.

Speaker 1: 5:36

A lot of the shit I complain about is complaining about all these asshole influencers, and I guess that's why I really want to do this, because my idea is that there should be someone who's out there for the average Joe, for the normal person, for the normal parent, for the normal dad, the mom, someone who understands and empathizes and isn't just sitting there talking about all of the stuff that they do, or showing you all this cool shit or this unrealistic expectations, like someone who actually is in the shit with you, who's struggling but also working towards a better life. So when I put this stuff out on social media or I put these podcasts out, it's extremely vulnerable to me. I'm not some narcissistic asshole who thinks that my shit doesn't stink and that you need to hear what I'm telling you, or that you need to buy some product that I'm telling you to buy, or do exactly what I'm telling you, or that you need to buy some product that I'm telling you to buy, or do exactly what I'm doing. It's more so me sharing what I'm going through, what my thoughts are and, in all reality, I'd love if someone told me that they disagreed with me. I'd love to have that conversation with them and see if maybe there's things in my life that I can do better. I almost envision it like I'm on a journey Everyone's kind of on this journey of life and I'm not someone who's 400 miles ahead of you or someone who's achieved enlightenment. I'm not that person. I'm the person who might be five steps in front of you, 10 steps in front of you Shit. I might even be someone who's like a mile and a half behind you in certain areas of life. It's more so. We're on the journey together and we have that communication, and this is the platform that I'm using, and I know that it's not a face-to-face conversation, but, as I said, I want to have more people on the show, more guests, and have them share their story, so that way we can start to connect, start to create community, start to empathize with one another, as opposed to just constantly having this judgment that comes along with social media and this disconnection that comes through the internet. Even though we're more connected than we've ever been, we're also more disconnected than we've ever been, and this is that platform for me.

Speaker 1: 7:41

This is my creative outlet, and all of this is just to say these are the insecurities and the vulnerabilities that go into doing this podcast and the reason why last week, when I was trying to do this, I just kept on fucking going nope, that's terrible, shut it down, delete it. Nope, can't do that, shut it down, delete it. I'm sure that there's a lot of people out there that try to do certain things or have great ideas in their head and they want to try and pursue something, but these insecurities, these vulnerabilities get in the way of them actually doing it, and so the reason why I'm doing the podcast today I have an interview later this week and I could release that one this week. But I wanted to release this one because I wanted to own the fact that those vulnerabilities and those insecurities, man those get to me as well, and it's really difficult to get past them and to continue doing what you want to do. You may let all of those intrusive thoughts get in the way of you being you, being authentic and doing the things that are meaningful to you.

Speaker 1: 8:38

And actually, one of the things that brought up these thoughts was sitting in church this week with my family and the message was about you know why we sing in church? And I'm not someone who sings, because I don't have a very good voice. I love music, but I'm not a great singer. It made me think back to a point in time when I actually did attempt to sing and I was a little kid. I was maybe in first or second grade and I went to a private school no-transcript this. We need to have other people do that and I sat back and remembered that story and thought, like, is this one of the reasons why I don't try to sing or why I am cautious about being vulnerable when it comes to creativity, because when I was a kid I would try and I was told you can't. That's definitely a huge possibility. That could have been something that really painted how I view creativity and vulnerability and trying to do things that are important to me but maybe are something that I'm not naturally gifted at, but something that I care about. I love music. I sing with my kids all the time terribly. My wife's a great singer and she'll tell me that I'm so tone deaf constantly and it's in good fun here. It's joking around.

Speaker 1: 10:19

But when I was a kid it was a different story and I think that that happens to a lot of people, where they're excited. When they're children, they love something, they really want to do it. They want to pursue that art, music, dancing, whatever the fuck it is, any type of creative outlet. They want to pursue that, they want to try that and they're told by someone like you're no good, you can't do this, don't try it, and I'm not some new age person. That's like everyone can sing or everyone can dance.

Speaker 1: 10:50

Of course, there are certain barriers that exist for people to do certain creative outlets. Not everyone's going to be an amazing singer. Not everyone's going to have those genetics. Not everyone's going to have that talent. Not everyone's going to be an amazing painter. Not everyone's going to be an amazing dancer.

Speaker 1: 11:02

There's a lot of things that can get in the way of you being amazing, but I think that the difference of what I'm talking about is like when you're a kid, you don't need to be amazing at any of those things. You need to love it and you need to try and you need to work hard. There's an opportunity there to teach perseverance and courage and hard work that we're missing when we tell kids that they can't do it or that they're no good at it, as opposed to telling me like you can't sing, you're not going to do this, we're just going to put you in the back over here. You know, here are some things that you can work on. Here are some songs that might be a little bit different.

Speaker 1: 11:35

There's a lot of different avenues that people can take when it comes to kids in terms of trying to help them pursue whatever creative outlet that they're looking towards, or if they really are fucking god awful and it's going to be terrible for them, which I don't think that at any point when you're a kid that that shouldn't be anything. But if you wanted to steer them in a different direction, maybe help them. Hey, this sounds like this might be something that plays on your strengths here. This might be something that plays on your strengths here. This might be something that plays on your strengths. It's about diverting them or guiding them into different areas of creative outlets, but letting them still have that, letting them still try to do that, letting them put as much effort as they can into it. I really think that that is something that is missing. And, like I said, I'm going to have someone on who talks a lot about creativity. This is his field of expertise and I'm sure we're going to dive a lot more into, like the X's and O's when it comes to creative outlets, building creativity in your kids and a lot of the other things.

Speaker 1: 12:34

And just the last thing that I wanted to get in here, as we're talking about kids, creativity and this is my creative outlet is, as I think, on me being afraid to be creative, to be vulnerable, to put things out there, to do the podcast, to do social media stuff. I'm trying to start thinking about. What do I want to model for my children? Because now they look up to me and even though they're never going to fucking listen to this podcast before they're 18 or shit, they may never listen to this podcast Eventually they're going to know that I do do a podcast, or once they know what podcasts are, or that I make videos and put them on social media, or make videos of me interviewing people, like they're going to know that this is something that I do outside of the realm of the normal. You know me just wiping their ass, making them lunches, dinner cooking, going to work. This is another aspect of me that they're going to know exists and I want them to see, even if it's not something that's making us a shit ton of money or I'm not, you know, fucking balling out like Joe Rogan or something like that.

Speaker 1: 13:39

I want them to be able to see that dad has something that he's interested in, something he's passionate about, a creative outlet for him, and he has the courage to do it, even if it's difficult and like. They're not going to know that. But I'm going to let them know. I'm not going to sit there and lie to them and say, oh yeah, this is, you know, just a cake walk. It's super easy for me to sit down and do this. It is jumping outside of my comfort zone. It's hard for me to do, but your dad has the courage to pursue things that he thinks that will be beneficial to him and potentially beneficial to others, and it gives him an outlet for all of these fucking feelings and thoughts that just rush through his neurodivergent head constantly. It gives me an outlet to get it out to other people and maybe someone enjoys it, maybe someone relates to it and they feel a little bit better about their day or they feel like they're not alone in the world. Dad's got the courage to do that, and I want you guys, in terms of kids, I want my kids to have the courage to do the things that they're passionate about as well and to have that creative expression.

Speaker 1: 14:37

And one of the things that I'm also kind of learning is that, even though I give this attitude of I don't give a shit what people think about me, it's true in a lot of aspects, like in a lot of the areas of my life where I'm really confident and secure, I could give two shits what people think about me If I sit down and watch a rom-com or Sex and the City with my wife, or I cry in some sort of emotional part of a movie, I don't give a fuck what people think of me there. I don't give a shit because I'm secure in my masculinity and my manhood and all the things that go along with that. People could attack me for those things and I don't give a shit. But this area is something that's new to me and I am not secure in it. I don't think that I'm this fucking great podcaster who can do whatever the hell he wants. This is an area of vulnerability for me and it's very, very difficult and I just need to be authentic. That's what I'm trying to tell myself is be authentic, be who you are, and if other people enjoy it, if other people relate, then that's great, and if not, that's fine too. It's not for everyone.

Speaker 1: 15:42

So, all that being said, I'm going to continue to do the podcast.

Speaker 1: 15:46

I'm hoping to get more people on in terms of doing interviews and I hope that you'll continue to listen, watch, support all those things, but that's going to do it for this episode of the Unhinged Father Hope. Y'all enjoyed it, as always. If you don't already give me a follow on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasting needs met. Follow me on Instagram, facebook, tiktok all the social media apps out there as well, got a little bit of a different content that goes on to those pages. Please share this show with someone that you think would enjoy it. Hit the little share button, send it out. I really appreciate that and if you'd like to be on the show eventually, if you have something you want to talk about or something you want to discuss, shoot me a little message, either dm email, something like that. But yeah, I hope everyone has a fantastic rest of the week. I've got a good interview coming up for you guys here shortly, but, as always, be good, try hard, do your best.